Well, here we are on the eve of Pub Day for Home of the American Circus!
You know that classic bit of writing advice about how you’re supposed to write the book that scares you? For a long time the thought of actually writing and sharing Home of the American Circus scared the heck out of me. I spent many many years collecting ideas for this book, terrified by the thought of how deep I’d have to dig to tell this story the right way. The book is firmly fiction, and the characters are all my imaginary friends, but the setting and themes are literally and figuratively close to home for me. Freya’s story isn’t mine, we have different life events and demographics, but I understand her sense of grief and loss and floundering and hope on a cellular level. And of all the characters I’ve ever written, the way her mind works is the closest to how I think and feel. It takes place in the town where I grew up. And I think when you read this book, you won’t know my life story, but you will know the tenor of my heart. I grew up as a kid with undiagnosed ADHD in a place where I didn’t fit, frantically trying to look normal, believing it was the only way anyone would love me. Always falling short. Terrified of failure. And then in my early twenties, I dropped out of college and worked at a biker bar and made such a huge mess of my life that I was forced to build myself up again brick by brick—this time knowing that failure isn’t the worst thing that can happen to a person. That as long as you can find the strength to try again in one way or another, falling flat on your face is not the end of the world. I learned that the only way to truly feel loved is to be yourself and see who’s up for loving you in your natural form. The people I keep taught me that. And even though it scared me, this was a book I needed to write, it’s the work I’m most proud of, with characters I love the most. So sharing it doesn’t feel like the end of the world at all. Just the end of the world where I have not shared this novel set in my hometown with a character who has a heart like mine.
#misheardlyrics #rem #homeoftheamericancircus #awkwardguitar #itstheendoftheworldasweknowitandifeelfine #lennyjuice
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